Do not ask why however, on my typical check-in on the most recent titles releasing on Steam, one new recreation positively popped off the web page. Reader, welcome to Love Love Joe Biden: The Joe Biden Dating Simulator (opens in new tab). Steam is positively awash with low-budget courting sims as of late, however sticking the octogenarian president in a single did pique my curiosity greater than the same old. I needed to play it.
Love Love Joe Biden, like virtually all of them, is a multiple-choice visible novel. It smooshes collectively a number of style tropes after which simply whacks the forty sixth President proper within the center. It is set in an outdated age dwelling that has two precise residents, one among whom is Biden, and two different members of workers: One in every of whom is a huge furry wolf, and the opposite an anime girl together with her bra exhibiting. To this point, so courting sim.
The wolf’s a little bit of a prick, the anime woman is boring, the outdated girl tells anecdotes that veer into wildly inappropriate areas, after which there’s Joe. The sport appears to come back from somebody who likes Biden (in any case, they made a recreation about courting him) however is all-too-aware of the person’s occasional foibles. So typically Joe falls asleep if you’re speaking to him, for instance, or he’ll repeat himself and stumble over phrases.
There’s some type of thriller about who “the boss” is, the person who pays for this outdated of us’ dwelling and thinks Biden was a horrible president, and it appears to be Corn Pop: A gang leader that Biden infamously claimed to have confronted in the early 1960s (opens in new tab). However most likely the primary through-line right here is how a lot Biden loves ice cream. Cannot get sufficient of the stuff. And wolfboy will not let him have it.
Picture 1 of 6
So, sure: I noticed by means of the system, and performed it for all it was value. At each alternative I may, I organised ice cream for Biden. I ate ice cream myself. I beat wolfy in a trivia quiz to win ten gallons of ice cream. I even accurately guessed Biden’s favorite ice cream flavour (chocolate chip, apparently), although I did must cheat and Google the capital of Delaware.
It wasn’t too lengthy earlier than Joe’s eyes have been fluttering away: However this time, it wasn’t as a result of he was sleepy. He confessed his like to my character, and I swore again that I’d love him till the top. Then my world was shaken.
“I believe you are fairly a snack, Wealthy, however I could not be your boyfriend…” stated Biden, then defined to my consternation that I used to be too outdated for him. B-b-but I am like a 3rd of your age Mr. President, my character stammered, to no avail. In these moments the place the sport will get probably steamy, resembling when Biden kisses you or will get bare for a shower, it fortunately simply fades to black or obscures the person bod. Right here Joe merely requested for one remaining sniff of my hair, pulled me into his arms, and the display and my hopes of happiness pale to black.
Guess that’ll train me so far probably the most highly effective man on this planet. In all seriousness, it is a giggle but it surely’s a one-note joke: I am not advocating you purchase it within the slightest, although given it is only some {dollars} it may make a enjoyable present for any Biden-loving pals. As for what the person himself would make of it, I believe everyone knows which phrase he’d deploy for what us younger ‘uns stand up to on Steam: Malarkey.
